Sunday, March 19, 2006

Not in the mood.

So, today has been an odd day.
I got into a fight with my best friend today, or really last night and it just continued to carry itself over into today - and I'm feeling kinda crap about the entire thing. I hate arguing with him, it irritates me to no end and it seems there's no way out of the loop. Plus, I always put myself into a fucked up mind set that makes me think that I need to distance myself more in order to keep from having it effect me so much. I wish that I could just let it go and move the Hell forward, but it's nearly impossible when the two of us get into an arguement. It's like neither of us will let up enough for the situation to be settled. I'm not blaming him for it, although he believes I am. I get defensive, and then I'm certainly harder to deal with. I don't like feeling insulted, or like someone is baiting me, and so if I even think for a second that it's happening, I get bitchy. Bitchy, and lash out no less. So, now I've said things that perhaps I wouldn't have said, and don't entirely mean, yet I have no way of taking them back. So, this is the upsetting portion of my day, it puts me in a bad mood, fucks up the entire mood for the day - and then he so nicely states that it doesn't bother him in the least and he doesn't much care - so I ask, why did we have to argue in the first place if none of it mattered to him at all? Was it just to get me irritated and have my own day ruined? Not really sure what he was trying to say with that comment, but I certainly could have done without it.

Moving on. My cousin, Kate, came for a visit this weekend and I spent all of yesterday and then a few more hours today hanging out with her. It's nice that now that we're older we can get along. We seem to have some things in common that just weren't there when we were kids, we're able to talk and enjoy eachothers company, I had a really great time with her and her boyfriend James last night. We went to see the movie "The Hills have Eyes"... it was... well, I'll leave the movie reviews to Mishy. I don't think it was meant to be a funny movie, yet I found myself laughing at several moments throughout the film. ~Shrugs~ So I'm twisted, not easily scared and find humor in violence - what can I say? So, hopefully when I move up to my condo in Cambridge I wont be living far from them and we can get together every month or whatever, that would be cool.

Yesterday was kinda a fall out day for the points. I was doin alright, within my range even after eating out TWICE since she was in town and we weren't home for dinner or lunch. But then, when I got in after the movie I had a horrible craving for cookies and munched down the last two from a batch I made like.. three weeks ago. Oh well, too bad, can't reverse it or anything. So, today I've been pretty good - still have about 11 pnts left for the day and all that's really left is something for dinner in the next few hours. No snacks tonight for me. ~nodnod~

Hopefully you're all having a pretty good Sunday, tomorrow is Monday.. back to work. I'm not really in the mood to think about it, so lets not. Oh, and I read the Brokeback Mountain book that Mishy lent me - it was actually a pretty good short book. (By short, I mean 55pages) Thanks for the recommendation Chicka - I'll get it back to you ASAP, though I still need to watch Run Lola Run.

Anyway, I'm gunna go. Dan is home and I want to talk to him a bit online.

Out!
Becca.

2 comments:

Living to Feel Good said...

Oh my gawd! I thought the previews for the Hills have Eyes looked scary as hell! I'm a wimp, but if you thought it was funny maybe I could stand it. I might have to put it on my netflix list to watch. I saw a bad movie last night...Dukes of Hazard. Half way through the movie I grabbed my lap top and read blogs.

Don't worry about the food. You've made a change in your life and eating 2 bad meals is nothing. You don't eat like that everyday 365 days a week right? Then you are in the right direction! You go girl! (cheese ball I know!! hahahah) :)

digitalGoobie said...

Hm, I dunno, my cousin hates horror movies but we (her BF and I) forced her to come along and she found it kinda scary.

Like I said, I really don't get scared that easily by movies.. I mean, there was only one part in this movie that made me want to look away. It was the trailer scene with the younger daughter - those of you who saw it, know what I'm talking about.

The movie did make me jump a few times, but that was only because they did those crazy loud sudden moments that can't help but startle you. I did laugh a fair bit though - like I said, I'm twisted. ~winks~