So, here's the deal.
Dan drives truck, so he's away on the road for like.. two weeks straight.
Then he's home for 2-3 days, before being sent out again. (Short forming it here.)
When he comes home, he's busy doing things like.. shopping and stocking the truck with food and such for the coming 2 weeks, doing laundry, catching up on sleep, taxes (in this case) and any socializing between family and friends must be done in this time - he's a busy boy.
Then there's me, the girlfriend or whatever you'd like to call me. (We've not met in person yet, it's an online relationship so far.. hopefully that will change this year?) Anyway, back to the story. So, since our communications are over the phone or internet only, they are both important. I have this thing where.. I hate not hearing from someone for days on end. Ya know what I mean? It would be different if we only talked like.. every third day usually or whatever - but we talk each and every day, if not twice a day. So, when he fails to call for a 3 - 4 day span at all - my girly mind goes ape and I go insane. Irrational is the word I'm trying to avoid using here. I hate that I do this, I feel like those girls who overract over NOTHING and then flip out. So, for three days I've been stewing with every passing hour because he didn't call, no email, no call, no form of communication at all. For the first while, I keep telling myself.. 'he's busy, and you're crazy.' THEN I start doing the.. maybe he's too busy for you. Maybe he's having more fun with his REAL friends.. and you just suck. MAYBE he's sick of you and just wants some time alone, etc. etc. Stupid thing is, if he would just have said 'Hey, listen. I'm sick of you and need some days alone' I would have been cool with it.. but when it's just like.. a drop of communication I go as crazy as crazy can be. I could continue to explain to you where my mind took all of this, everywhere from him dating other women to in the future he'd ignore me completely. So you see, me, alone with much time to dwell on something does not work out well.
Needless to say I completely overreacted, I did however bring it up with him so I wasn't even more crazy.. you know, like to pay him back stopped answering the phone or something. I don't like passive aggressive, so as hard as it was to admit and talk about.. I felt it was important so I didn't somehow make things worse. They are fine now, I just needed to voice how I was feeling and like I said.. I understood why he didn't call.. I just let my imagination run wild when I get stressed - and if you can't tell, for the past few days I've been stressed.
Anyway, I'm going to shut it now. He's prolly gunna be irritated that I talked about our relationship to you all - but really, it just makes me look insane and him look like the down to earth, level headed one. Perhaps a role he's not use to.. hehehe. ~winks~ Baby, I apologize for being a crazy bitch, k? Oh, and on a side note.. got the taxes back and I'm getting about $300 back.. w00t w00t to not having to pay!
Btw, yes, I am fully aware how crazy I am.. and sound.
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4 comments:
You don't sound crazy at all, what you were doing is something most people would do, worry!
Glad to hear you're getting money back instead of having to pay out. This year I got a very pleasant surprise when I did taxes too and what I get back pays for almost all of my trip to Cuba YAY!
You sound perfectly normal to me. I would be exactly the same way in your situation. I'm impressed that you talked to him about it.
Oh Becca! You're not crazy at all doll! I remember those days. It's amazing what our minds can do to us isn't it?! I think we've all been there, atleast I know I've been there. Just don't think you're crazy! You're totally not!!
Isn't is sad how fast our mind can go to the worst scenerio? Years and I mean YEARS ago when my relationship was unsure I remember laying in bed after only 1 night of not hearing from my now husband that he must be out with someone and oh my gawd what if he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Oh my gawd what if he is kissing someone. Oh my gawd I miss him so much!! I cried. Our minds can make us crazy but it doesn't mean we are. It's human nature to love and want to be loved. You'll be okay. :)
I gotta agree with your buds here...it's human nature to explain it away, to wonder about him, be confused about why you aren't hearing from somebody. I hate the games too. Not that he was playing games, mind you, but sometimes you just want to cut through all the BS and "oh I shouldn't ask cause its' being crazy, etc" and just ask, be open, blunt, and real.
Anyway, I'm ranting on your comments, which is silly. Today felt like a Friday to me also. It's like I have a work twin out there...There used to be a website that would tell you what day today 'felt like', and I can't remember exactly what it was called, but it was for exactly that same day-ja vu, LoL.
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